Thursday, 25 August 2016

Zimbabwean President Orders Immediate Arrest Of All Zimbabwean Olympic Team Over Failure To Win A Single Medal (Not Even Copper Or Brass)

Zimbabwean President, Robert Mugabe instructed the Commissioner General of Zimbabwe Police Republic, Augustine Chihuri to arrest and detain the whole Zimbabwean Olympic Team members immediately they arrived the Harare International Airport on Tuesday, August 23. Zimbabwe, which is one of the countries in the Olympics without a medal presented a team of 31 athletes. The closest any of the athletes came to win a contest was at the 8th position.

Mr. Mugabe who is incensed with the team’s performance told the Police Chief to arrest all the team members and detain them. “We have wasted the country’s money on these rats we call athletes. If you are not ready to sacrifice and win even copper or brass medals (referring the 4th and 5th positions) as our neighbors Botswana did, then why do you go to waste our money” he said.

If we needed people to just go to Brazil to sing our national anthem and hoist our flag, we would have sent some of the beautiful girls and handsome guys from University of Zimbabwe to represent us.”

He added that, the money invested in the team to represent the country could have been used to provide amenities and build schools. “This situation is like an impotent man who is married to five women, what is the essence? I will make sure we share the cost across board for all of them to pay back to government chest even if it takes 10 years to recoup, now it turns out to be a soft loan we have given them to go and visit Brazil as tourist, they are useless.” he concluded.

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